Brace yourself, because im going all out. My name is Dennisse Natasha Madrigal. I’m 15 years old. I was born and raised in several different houses and I dont know if I learned Spanish or English first. However, I grew up most of my life in North Babylon on a street where I’m the second house on the left. I speak spanish to my dad 100% of the time and with my mom I just switch back and forth.. because she speaks English. In third grade i went to costa rica for the first time and I didn’t meet all of my family, and I still havent because my great grandparents have 12 children, each of them have children who have children, and some of them have children also. Thats just on my mom’s mom side. On my grandpas; He has several brothers and sisters that have children..etc. And then my dad has like 5-7 brothers and sisters who have children, etc. Point is; I haven’t met all of my family. And i dont think i ever will. Moving on… so i grew up in North Babylon and I’ve always been really different frm other kids, and I don’t say that to sound “cool” and/or unique. I mean a different kind of different. I’m not sure how, but I definately am. Anyway, I love my home family a lot (dad,mom, brother) but theres a lot of history behind everything. when i was a new born baby my mom was in this country practically alone. she struggled with her job and her life was just hard. she wasnt “together” with my dad. but she needed a place to live so she lived in my uncles house. she got kicked out bc they didnt treat her or her sister well and my mom has just gone through so many situations like that when i was a baby. so shes really strong and independent and even sometimes its just annoying to see her act like she’s strong enough and doesnt need anyone to help her but i can see that she is really depressed lately and it KILLS me. but anyway growing up now- to around 7th grade. It was a monday in february and we were at a school assembly called Rachels Challenge. R.I.P you all may know what that is but if you dont its a depressing video about a shooting at a school that happened years ago. so i was sitting there thinking, wow this is so sad, God Bless i hope my brother is okay and will always be, then i got a weird feeling in my stomach and i got a little scared because im a little supersticious. so then i wentt to go have lunch and i was told i was going home early bc my brother and grandma were at the school to pick me up. i asked what was going on as to why i was leaving early and they told me that my older brother wasnt doing to well with his cancer and he was in the hospital. when i got home my mom opened the door and said “ya” which translates to it happened. i couldnt believe it. my brother. dead. i feel like time just stopped. like God just paused the world. and then the tears came out for hours. like..what do you do when your very own precious brother has died? i flew out 1 hour later to costa rica only to see him and light wood casket. like a mirror because when i looked into his face i saw his eyes closed but i pictured them open. i crossed my arms and layed on this glass cover casket and cried, as i felt everyones eyes in the room seeing the little sister watch her very own brother, descend into heaven. i could feel that everyone was just petrified in that moment and they were all too scared to make a move as my dad and i just cried over his dead body. but he was still there. i know he was. ive thought about him everyday ever since then, waiting ..wishing that i will see his body walk through the door of a room that im in. hoping that he’ll come..touch me. talk to me. see me. anything. in my dreams, in reality, anywhere. i want to see him. ill cry just talking about him. listening to a song will make me cry. he was my brother.
in 8th grade i joined drama. we did a show called yearbook productions. it sucked reaaally bad. haha but i had several parts in it, not big parts but i had two scenes where i was pretty big. uhhm i met a lot of new friends through this show that became a part of my life. i had known them previously but never really got to hang out with them. they are: Brandon, Jen, Kristen, Matt, Amanda Tedi, Sarah, Toni, Tia, Chris, Sean, Chelsea, Vinny, Dawn, and SO many others. all these people i didnt meet through drama but i started hanging out with them all around the same time. i dont talk to a few but i loved them, and id be lying if i didnt say i had some amazing times with them. from parties, to friggin amazing nights, to dance parties to walks in the park. they showed me an amazing friendship and i love them for that. thank you each and everyone of you for accepting me into your lives. youre special people. ive hung out with them so much since summer 2010 and i know theyll be a part of my life forever because of the memories that have been made. Things have changed from last summer though, people started to argue friendships were broken but you know what its nothing to get upset over because in life that happens and you cant be BFFS forever. ya know? like right now my ‘sister’ chelsea got mad at me and you know what i dont know what happened there but it is what it is. ive got my friends and i sure as hell got my family and i love each and every person that i know treats me right and thats al i need. and you meet new people every day and you never know where a new friendship is gunna start. i have to nephews, Ethan and Jeren, they are BEAUTIFUL little boys if i tried to love them more love id explode. ethan is diagnosed with down syndrome, he doesnt look different than other children however his eyes cannot see to well without glasses but he has gotten eye surgery and he cant talk too much but he says all the right stuff for my heart to melt. jeren is the little one i love them both with all my heart. i cant stay away from them when i see my little boys. it breaks my heart though that their aunt who can love them unconditionly has to bare with her little boys growing up and me not being around to see them every now and then. its reallly hard believe it or not. even though i never see them, when i do theyre really shy at first, but by the end of three hours theyll be crying if im not holding their hand for more than 2 seconds. i really do truley love them with ALL of my heart. theyre my sister’s children. i dont like my sister all that much because i know that she doesnt like me. i never thought id hear myself say that i dont like a sibling but my sister never liked me. she would never say hi when i saw her and god forbid shed give me a hug. idk, weird. dont wanna talk about it. so im really close to my family aside from that. and i couldnt love them any more than i do. i really couldnt. im a really down to earth person and i can see peoples personalitys when i meet them. im not quick too judge though, and i forgve very easily. i like to see the good in people and always try to push aside the negative which makes it easy to take advantage of me. i take pride in how i look, i like to impress people, i go over the top with things sometimes (not in a bad way) i don’t wear makeup other than mascara, i like to entertain people, i wish i could be a model/actress. i don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, or a phone as a matter of fact. i like to be funny and i love watching movies. I’m a fairly white latina, but you can tell im hispanic when you get to know me, i eat rice practically every night, and i could live off of an asian diet, because i love asian meals. i used to have a dog named chuchi and i loved her more than any dog i have ever owned along with a dog named cinnamon that i also had, they both got ill and died but lived a happy life. i love dogs and now have a pomeranian named candy which you can see on my facebook. i work at Adventureland which i’m starting to like because the people are really nice and i enjoy working with some of them. i want to get to know them better though and hangout with them, so hopefully that’ll happen soon. i used to work at a bagel store but i hated every minute of it because the people were weird and annoying and i just dreaded it. i love starbucks and coffee. and i love to eat but i have to lose a lot of weight because im really insecure. im not very confident but i stick up for my self when i need to. my brother and i used to be SO close but lately not so much because a lot of shit has been going down in my house, stuff that people dont know about. i hope that things do go back to normal because my heart breaks everyday. i love my mom so much, she really is my best friend even though i could totaly punch her in the face sometimes..i dont care i love her to frikken death. i love my dad but me and him arent that close, in fact.. we have an awkward relationship. I’ve done a lot of crazy shit in my life. ive drank, gotten drunk, came home drunk, etc. ive never done drugs and i never want to. ive blacked out and ive made a ool of my self. ive never had sex but ive hooked up; never given a blowjob. this is a long blog and if youve made it this far, than please contact me…thanks for reading <3